The Rover's going to the country

Baby, don't you want to go?

If my mother was an animal, she'd be a border collie with a raspy bark and a herd of livestock to keep in line.

Wander off for more than a few minutes and it's like a light bulb goes off in her head.

Bing!

"Where's Tito?" she wonders. "Has he wandered off and gotten himself torn to shreds by a pack of coyotes?"

She calls out my name but I am using the washr…